It’s inevitable. At some point in your early sobriety you will find yourself in a social gathering where a whole lot of drinking is going on. Of course, in the first few weeks or months of sobriety it is best to avoid such gatherings as much as possible. But there will come a time where you can’t avoid it. Life goes on and like it or not, drinking is a major part of our culture.

So what do you do when the host of a party walks up to you and graciously asks if she can get you a drink? You can thank her for the offer and respectfully decline. Or, you can ask for a club soda or soft drink. There’s a good chance your response will be addressed appropriately and you continue socializing at the party without a beverage or with something non alcoholic.

But what happens if she presses the issue? “Don’t be ridiculous” she might say. “I’ve been saving this fabulous red cabernet for just this occasion. You absolutely have to try it”.

You reply, “No really. I’m okay. I’d prefer sprite”.

She’s relentless. “Oh come on. Just a little”.

And so it goes back and forth. Is there a point where you just have to come out and drop the bomb on her? What do you say to back her off? “Listen! I’m an alcoholic. If I start drinking I’m going to end up going into the spare bedroom and rummage through all the guest’s purses looking for money. I’ll then piss in the closet, come out half naked and molest some of the women. I really don’t think you want that so if it is ok with you, I’ll just stick with sprite”.

While this would be one way to difuse the situation, there are some less dramatic approaches. You could just flat out admit to your alcoholism, but without the histrionic details. Such a response could be met with raised eyebrows. If this is something that is a bit unconfortable for you, there are other options.

What about telling her that you have an allergy to alcohol? Or, what about mentioning that you can’t drink alcohol because it makes you sick. Both responses are absolutely honest and should be sufficient to suppress further attempts at getting you to drink. I’ve heard a slightly comedic approach to this issue. “Oh, I can’t drink anymore. I front-loaded all my partying in my 20’s and it’s too much for my body to handle”.

The important thing to remember in a situation like this is that you probably have worked very hard to maintain your sobriety. Make the right decision. Protect your sobriety. No matter what approach you decide to employ, refuse the drink and move on. If the encounter leaves you feeling awkward, leave the party. If the uncomfortable feeling lingers, call your sponsor, go to a meeting, talk with some sober friends, exercise, or go home and write about it. Do something proactive. Your life may depend on it.